If Not Me, Then Who?

board chair mindsets risk management Aug 31, 2026

By Maureen Moneta, CPA, CA, ICD.D

Maureen is a former C-suite executive and Board Chair whose governance perspective is shaped by financial leadership and informed by her experience as a Métis and Ukrainian woman with rural and urban roots.

Most experienced directors have lived through a certain kind of board meeting.

You sit down ready to contribute. The issue is important. The board’s collective insight could make a real difference. But as the chair opens the meeting, the path seems already set. The chair speaks early and often. Hard questions are softened or avoided. New voices are left waiting for an invitation that never comes.

Around the table, you sense the same tension:

We could be better than this… but no one is sure how to begin.

And then a quiet question surfaces: If not me, then who?

Boards Are Complex Social Systems

A struggling chair doesn’t always look passive. Some chairs dominate with strong views and a narrow sense of how the meeting should unfold. Others hesitate when tension appears, uncomfortable with conflict. Some genuinely don’t understand that their job is not to solve the issue, but to create the space where the board can.

Whatever the reason, the impact is similar: the board is watching as passive observants, not fulfilling their duty of care or their responsibilities as members of the board.

Good governance is not a series of procedures. It is a complex social system. A dynamic, relational space. And like most social systems, it can be influenced from many places, not only from the top.

Directors often underestimate how much power they have to shift a conversation, steady a room, or gently widen possibilities. Leadership in a boardroom is rarely a single act. It’s a series of small, intentional choices that signal:

We can think more openly here. We can go a little deeper. We can listen to learn.

A Moment That Stays With You

I once watched a board face a complex decision. The expertise around the table was remarkable. But the chair approached the issue with a fixed view and guided the discussion toward that outcome. Not aggressively, just confidently enough that dissent felt impossible.

What struck me wasn’t the chair’s behaviour. It was the number of directors who looked like they were holding something important but stayed quiet. You could feel the potential of the group sitting untapped.

They weren’t disengaged. They were waiting for permission.

The Nuanced Ways Directors Can Lead from Their Seat

Directors don’t need permission to engage. And influence in a boardroom doesn’t always look like taking charge. Often, it looks like opening the conversation the chair has unintentionally narrowed.

Here are three subtle, relational moves directors can use:

Re-centre the board without challenging the chair.

When discussion gets stuck in preferences or vague opinions, try asking: “Before we go further, how does this connect to our strategy?”

This refocuses the conversation without undermining anyone.

Make space for others in a way that strengthens relationships.

If you notice a few directors holding back, say: “I’d be interested to hear other perspectives. What are we missing?”

Colleagues remember who made room for their voice. This builds credibility and trust over time.

Gently name the undertone the chair is avoiding.

If the meeting is skirting around a real tension, say: “It feels like there’s something we haven’t explored yet. Should we go there before we move on?”

This is leadership that acknowledges complexity rather than hiding from it.

None of these actions pretend the problem is simple. They recognize that boards are made of people. People with history, power dynamics, personalities, and blind spots. And they help the board move forward without creating unnecessary conflict.

Courage Doesn’t Need to Be Loud

The most effective directors are often the ones who lead through curiosity, not certainty. They don’t claim to know the answer. They simply create the conditions where better decisions can emerge.

Curiosity is disarming. It softens defensiveness. It invites reflection. And when exercised with care, it strengthens relationships inside the governance system, something every board relies on during difficult moments.

Acting from this place builds more than good decisions. It builds the kind of credibility that lasts. People begin to trust your intentions. They see you as steady, thoughtful, and committed to the collective good.

If Not You, Then Who?

When the board or a chair is struggling, the board needs someone who notices what the room is missing and is willing to offer it with humility and care.

Leadership in a boardroom often looks like small nudges that make big differences:

a question no one else thought to ask, an invitation to speak, a moment of courage that helps others find their own.